Interrogation!
by Friend of Juunishi
Summary: Read if you dare to laugh. Chapter 2 is up!
1. Default Chapter

"Interrogate Dante!"

by: Nezumi

Nezumi: I wanted to ask Dante a few questions. Next chappie Dante will answer your questions. I feel so blessed! Dante let me ask questions first! Yippee!

Dante: That's not the case. You were the only one who wasn't armed with a gun. Not that that would hurt me...

Nezumi: On with 'the project'!

Dante: What 'project'?

Nezumi: grins and rubs hands together evilly POOF! attitude changes and Nezumi smiles girlishly This is where we ask you questions silly! hits Dante's head

Dante: Oh...Okay...First question?

Nezumi: Alright! Guards, now! in walk twenty demon guards and they tie Dante to a chair I just love the theme of it all! Hm,hm...Herm...tries clearing throat Hack!...Okay, ew...Slimy swallows...Where was I? Oh!Yes... (uh,you can untie him now) guards free our Devil hero First question! DeathTalker from Lansing, Nevada says:

"Dante, I am a huge fan of yours! You are the coolest demon hunter I know! Here are some questions:

1.) Did you like the storyline of DMC or DMC 2 better? (personally, I like DMC storyline better than DMC 2 because Lucia is an idiot! She has a horrible fake Fench accent and doesn't keep it the whole time.)

2.) What is your favorite food?

Thanks! Bye!"

DeathTalker

Dante: Hmm...Okay, well, I'm happy your such a fan of mine. Thank you! gives thumbs up and grins stupidly

1.) I did like the storyline better in DMC. Yes, sadly they couldn't find an English-speaking, French girl. The girl who did it stunk! Awful!

2.) Uhh...I'm not sure. Never had time to eat. Too many Demon calls.

Nezumi: bites into a Taco Bell chalupa smothered in EXTREME hot sauce So you've never eaten?

Dante: shakes head I've never had time for an actual meal. Sniff, sniff begins crying

Nezumi: Aww...It's okay, Dante. rubs his back and gives him extra chalupa with a smile See!

Dante: Thank you. bites into the chalupa What is this sensation in my mouth? It's weird...

Nezumi: Is it too hot?

Dante: shakes his head No, it's...I feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

Nezumi: smiles at him and gives him a high-five That's the way you're supposed to feel!

Dante: I-I feel like singing!

Nezumi: Wanna sing the 'Fun Song'? Dante nodds and they begin

Nezumi and Dante: F. is for 'friends' who do stuff together! U. is for 'ukalelei'! N. is for 'nywhere' 'nytime' at all! Here with my best buddy!

Dante: F. is for 'fire' which comes from my gauntlets! U. is for 'underworld'! N. is for 'Nelo' (that big jerk!) I will forever live!

Nezumi and Dante: Hug! hugs very tight

Dante: BzzzzBzzzz Oh, pager stops hugging (sniff,sniff...) Devil stuff...stares at pager number I gotta go! See you later! Dante runs off stage and takes Superman pose...Dangit! Stupid fly belt won't work!

Trish suddenly appears on her bike

Trish: I got the call. Let's go. Dante hops on and they ride off into the sunset to conquer demons of the underworld

Nezumi: Bye! waves stupidly That's all, folks! See ya! exits stage left


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Interrogation!

A/N: I am so sorry about the asterisks, people! I had edited my story several times on my system and when I uploaded it to the website, it didn't save the asterisks and since I didn't have time to edit it online I left it and published it for all to see my awful mistake! I am so sorry! hits face really hard Ow...See what I will do for fame! I also edited some of the questions because they were a tad long. Oh, and I don't own anything but my manga and my own copies of games. My friends own themselves. I don't know who owns me...

Nezumi: Hello and welcome back to our show! Dante's back and today he will answer your questions! Thank you for all the great reviews! Dante will be happy to reply. Isn't that right, Dante?

Dante: Uh, hmm...

Nezumi: Pst! Pst!...you have to answer otherwise those people points to angry mob of reviewers armed with pitchforks will have your head!

Dante: stands on chair I cannot die!Mwahahahahaha!sits back down Sure, I'll be happy to answer your questions.

Nezumi: I thought so. Okay, from somewhere-out-there Blanka asks:

1.) Can you name my sword? 2.) What do you think of a girl who has brown hair, green eyes, swordfights and wears crimson and black?

Dante: Wow. She's got serious questions. clears throat 1.) A sword should be named by a person/thing important to the owner of said sword. I think the name Aristochus is pretty cool. 2.)points to Blanka I love you. hugs Blanka

Nezumi: So far we're having fun.

Dante: Yeah, I like naming swords. pulls out his own Hmm...What're you called again?

Nezumi: coughAlastor!cough

Dante: Hmm? light bulb over head comes on Alastor! That's it! Next question?

Nezumi: Right! SilverDragonChild from someplace asks:

1.) Why'd you let that guy in DMC2 steal your clothes and pretend to be you? 2.) What do you think of fics pairing you with your brother? 3.) Cheese, pants, or mustard...And why?

Nezumi: Up-close and personal...

Dante: Tell me about it. Tch! leans back Well... 1.) He stole my clothes! I guess he pretended to be me because I'm so cool! 2.) I have a brother? Oh! Yeah, I guess I do. He has no right to be called my brother! points to random boy You will never be my brother! Ahahahahaha! 3.) Cheese, pants, or mustard... a) Was cheese on that chalupa thingy? Nezumi nodds I like it. nodds vigorously b) I am wearing pants right? looks down Oh! For a moment you had me worried! c) I haven't tasted mustard yet...HEY! I WANT SOME MUSTARD! stage crew carry out a bottle of French's mustard and Dante tastes it Eww...spits it out...I don't like it.

Nezumi: Shoulda warned you.

Dante: THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU! turns red in the face and stands in chair

Nezumi: Dante.

Dante: WHAT!

Nezumi: talks like a prep We're on television! Duh! thunks Dante's head with finger

Dante: sits down and sulks and mutters Nexkwesbin...

Nezumi: Sorry?

Dante: I SAID...! Next question, please. a black halo encircles our hero's head

Nezumi: Okay, Mithran from a-pineapple-under-the-sea asks:

1.) Why do you have a fixed coin, you lame chicken who dares not to gamble! 2.) What happened to all of your weapons from DMC and why did you toss them away for a measly normal sword? 3.) Why did your DT become so lame when it rocked before? 4.) What happened to Trish? She looked like your mum! You should have taken care of her! 5.) Why did your High Time enemy juggling become so dull? Why did you become a silent mofo who couldn't use a multi-stab move or even perform a decent stinger! Huh!

Dante: What did you say to me! How dare you insult me! It's not like I had any choice in the matter...Stupid humans. The director...! They ruined the image that is me! 1.) I found it on the ground and it brought me luck. How'd I know it was fixed? 2.) I know! I had a bloody awesome assortment of weaponry and they gave me a stinkin' plain sword! I'd jack up my attack power if it didn't cost so much! I mean, there are only so many orbs per level! 3.) Tch! You're not the only one! Flying around in front of a blue screen was awesome! Now I have to work and get sweaty just so I can transform! Lame-o! 4.) Trish...We've had a good time...random whistle from audience Uh-heh. Killing demons and all is fun to do. What can I say...? shrugs 5.) Yeah, the good 'ol days...Guess I'm getting old huh?

Dante: Whew! I'm getting tired! points to Mithran You talk TOO much. Anymore questions?

Nezumi: Uh, one more.

Dante: Okay, inhales send it to me!

Nezumi: Are you breathing? Dante exhales Okay, just making sure...Sydon from the ocean says:

1.) Just what the heck happened to you! You went from a wise-cracking cool dude to a deluded retard who uses a coin to decide on things! I just want to know if you hit your head or something in between the two games?

Dante: You hit the nail on the head there! Who says I'm not stiil wise-cracking! I made a few back there! jerks his thumb backwards 1.) I suffered from a severe cuncussion after Trish broke up with me. Actually that was how we broke up. But we're back together now.

Dante: what'd I do to deserve all these hateful questions...?sniff, sniff

Nezumi: Don't worry, Dante. We still love you. hugs Dante See!

Dante: Thank you...yeah...ok...gotta go...bye. shuffles off stage and grabs a donut

Nezumi: Yeah, well...BYE! waves to audience and runs off stage

A/N: Was I trying too hard? I kinda wanted to get this one over with. Should I continue and interrogate Trish and Nelo? I think I will do a FF-VIII Meets FF-X fiction too. Cool-eo! Well, please review!

Thanks!


	3. Author's Note and Apologies

A/N: You have got to be kidding! I editted that story more than twice online at the website and put all the asterisks in place! What the heck happened! Please! You've got to believe me! I am apologizing for this mistake! I've never used asterisks in my other stories, but it shouldn't be such a problem. I'm trying to edit it, but I cannot. Again I apologize. I will try and figure this out soon, please, bear with me. Thank you for the reviews again. Bye!

Nezumi, Friend of Juunishi


End file.
